Technique: Kickstart Your Way To Being Noticed

Here is another example of an effective technique demonstrated at Full Tilt 4.  It combines HDSALAB and, as we have discussed, the most interesting motorcycle in the world, the Harley-Davidson Sportster.

Kicking your bike to life is rarely easy and almost always draws a crowd so women are very likely to stand up and notice.  As a crowd gathers to bask in the repeated failure before the ultimate glory, the simple act of getting your engine to fire becomes theater for the masses.  If that bike happens to be a Sportster, well, you have a recipe for pure magic.

Tech Tip: Make Your Bike More Interesting

You don't need to be standing around at a bike show to get women interested in motorcycles. You can achieve the mission by just standing around and looking at your own bike anywhere women are present.  However, it really helps if you are handsome and your bike is interesting.  If you over-index on the first point but fall short on the second, there is an easy fix.  Make your bike look like a badass Sportster!

It's no secret that the Harley-Davidson Sportster is the most interesting motorcycle in the world.  It can be customized in limitless way (such as Jordan's above) and, as a bonus, even has the reputation of being a girl's bike, making it instantly attractive to women.  Since 1957, the Sportster has been the epitome of cool in motorcycling.  So what do you do if you ride a bike like this Royal Enfield?

Easy!  Make it look like a Sportster in just 2 easy steps!

1. Using spray paint and/or Plasti Dip, black out everything you can to hide the distinguishing features of your bike.
2. Replace your gas tank with a classic Sportster tank.

Step 1:
Here you can see the engine area, headlight, and fork lowers have been blacked out.  While you study this photo, take note of the classic "standing in pairs" technique demonstrated in the background that includes Charlie looking at his own bike.

Step 2:
The tank is often the first part of a bike that is noticed.  This Sportster tank transforms the Royal Enfield into a Royal Enster... or maybe a Sportsfield.  That's not important as you will refer to your bike as a "genuine Harley-Davidson Sportster" from here on out.

Now go ride it to an area where women are present, focus on your stand and look at your bike while silently repeating the mantra "bikes, beer, grooming, and gear" to yourself.

If you get questioned about whether your bike is a real Sportster, insist it is set up for flat tracking like the Rusty Butcher's bike.  It really helps if you have a sweet offroad-style helmet like this one:

Then pull out your phone and show them a YouTube video of him jumping ramps on his Sportster like this one.  Don't say, "I taught him how to do that," because that sounds like you're lying.


If they're still not convinced because "the motor looks different", compliment them on their attention to detail and clarify that your Sportster is an Ironhead, not a sissified Evo.  Remember that the goal is to get women interested in motorcycles.  Once they learn more about them, they will see your bike for what it is, but, by that point, the mission has already been accomplished.

The Art Of The Stand

If you're going to stand around looking at bikes at a motorcycle show, you need to know how to stand in order to stand out.

There are 4 key ingredients to a handsome dude's perfect stand:

1. Bikes
2. Beer
3. Grooming
4. Gear

In the example above, Dan is doing absolutely everything right.

1. Bikes: This photo was taken at Scooter Trash 4.  There were awesome bikes to look at everywhere so the location was ideal.
2. Beer: Not only is Dan enjoying a classic PBR Tallboy, he is using a matching PBR Can Koozie with the blue ribbon logo clearly facing out.  This screams "classy gentleman" at any women in the vicinity.
3. Grooming: Dan's clean-shaven head demonstrates that he cares about his appearance and subtly reflects sunlight to attract attention.
4. Gear: Dan stands out in the crowd by not wearing the traditional black t-shirt and jeans, yet he is still dressed appropriately for riding.  The sunglasses add a touch of mystery as it is not clear which bike he is looking at.

I hope you're taking a few moments to reflect on what you've been doing wrong all these years.  Say it with me, "bikes, beer, grooming, and gear."  It's damned catchy isn't it?  Now go out there and stand properly.