Bikes, Beer, Grooming, & Gear!

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Technique: Deep Thoughts

Subtlety is not always the best policy.  Sometimes a dramatic and obvious "thinking pose" is required to really call attention to yourself in a crowded room like the 2018 Progressive International Motorcycle Show.  Observe the effect on the woman to his left.  She is clearly entranced and, while her attention may start with him, she will soon follow his eyes to the panhead chopper in the foreground.  At that point he will think to himself, "mission accomplished".

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Calendar Dilemmas

Sometimes two compelling motorcycle events will be scheduled on the same day and you're left trying to figure out which one to attend.  Take, for example, June 25th.  It's five months away, but you have a big decision to make and it might seem particularly difficult if you live in or near Minnesota.

Option #1: Travel all the way to California and attend Born Free 8, arguably the premiere custom motorcycle show in the US, and possibly the world.

Option #2:  Head to a dusty dirt track in Owatonna, MN for Moto Mania 2: The Big Deuce.

First, let's assume money is no object and travel time is not a consideration so you are free to go to either event.  Ignore the cost of admission, whether camping is allowed, whether giant coolers full of your own ice cold beer are allowed, and any other expenses you might incur.

If you are confused on which one to attend, remember the HDSALAB mantra, "bikes, beer, grooming, gear."  Don't rush to pick Moto Mania just because it has the words "bikes" and "beer" on the poster.  That would be an amateur move.  Think about it.

Since the HDSALAB mission is to get more women interested in motorcycling, you must first think about which event is likely to have more women at it.  You must also think about where you can look your best as you demonstrate your well-refined techniques for standing around, looking at bikes.  Then you should think about media coverage and where you will be most likely to get national or international exposure, both online and in print, if you happen to be captured in the background of a photograph of a mind-blowing chopper. Remember that you want legitimate exposure, not just coverage on a random blog about rodents and dairy products.

Born Free 8 is the obvious choice.  You won't be standing in a thick dust cloud all day so you're sure to look your best.  There are hundreds, if not thousands, of beautiful bikes parked everywhere to stand next to.  Media coverage is off the charts.  Also, the handful of women at the first Moto Mania were clearly already interested in motorcycles because they were out on the track.  Your efforts to stand around and look interesting would be wasted and there would be nothing left to do but hop on your motorcycle and actually ride it.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Technique: Subtle Restraint

When you're in a small group standing around looking at bikes, consider doing what Dan's doing and stare mysteriously into the distance while everyone else is staring at the bike in front of you.  This shows restraint and adds interest and mystery to the scene.

Andy is also demonstrating "The Teacher" technique as he is staring at his own bike and is available for questions. Note how all of this works together as a package and draws Rachel in to participate in the admiration of Andy's Sportster. This is a classic example of teamwork my friends.  Well done.

Monday, February 23, 2015

The Legend of Willie G

The Mama Tried Show was this past weekend in Milwaukee, WI.  If you needed a place to show off your HDSALAB techniques, this was the place to be.  It certainly wasn't a place for HDSALAB amateurs.  Here you'll find the master himself, Willie G. Davidson, mid-swing as he's showcasing the art of gently tossing your leather jacket over your shoulder while intently staring at a bike.  As if he wasn't a legend already...

Thursday, February 5, 2015

HDSALAB Sticker Sets For Sale

Get your very own HDSALAB sticker set HERE.

You get the two (2) stickers seen here:
  • One (1) 3.5" x 2.0" sticker of Dan holding a beer.
  • One (1) 3.5" x 1.0" sticker of the #HDSALAB hashtag.
Both are high quality vinyl stickers designed and printed in the USA.

Price: $2.00 per set + shipping.  In the US, shipping is only $1.00.  There are no additional shipping charges if you buy more stickers including any of the 30+ varieties normally offered by Gophers and Cheese.

Thursday, January 29, 2015


Ryan (@wolvesnwhiskey) was the first person to post a photo of someone else to Instagram using the #HDSALAB hashtag.

Jarad (@commonmuck) was the first person to re-post a photo from the HDSALAB blog on Instagram with the #HDSALAB hashtag.  Of course, he was in the photo.

Way to go gentlemen! These are the first steps to this whole thing going viral.  Who's next?

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Where to SALAB

If you live near the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul and are looking for great places to stand around and look at bikes, you're in luck.  On the full version of this site (sorry mobile users), there's a calendar of bike shows in the right-hand column.  Rides were excluded as they don't involve much standing.  While the shows are great places to practice your stand and refine your technique(s) of choice, there is something you simply cannot miss and it happens every month... First Thursday.

First Thursday occurs... wait for it... the first Thursday of every month.  Yes, it's that simple.  It is a HUGE bike night with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of bikes showing up.  The primary location is Dulono's Pizza, located at the corner of Lake and Lyndale in Uptown (Minneapolis).  All types of bikes show up including choppers, vintage, sport bikes, cafe racers, stock, and more.  Rows of bikes extend down the side streets and take up nearby parking lots too.

New for 2014, Moto Mania started up at the nearby VFW to handle some spillover.  They have a covered parking lot and had outdoor beer sales (featuring both Coors and Not-Coors) before Dulono's started doing it too.  The crowd skews towards garage-built customs, choppers, and cafe racers.  It's a very short walk between the VFW and Dulono's so it's easy to check out both.

Now get to work refining your skills.  The 2015 SALAB season is right around the corner!

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Technique: The Teacher

You never want to miss an opportunity to pique a woman's interest in motorcycles.  Should just any handsome dude stand next to your motorcycle?  Wouldn't it be helpful if you were there to answer questions?  This potentially educational & informative technique is called The Teacher, as demonstrated here by Kevin staring at his own Born Free 6 bike at the 2014 Bearded Lady Motorcycle Freakshow.  It's no surprise his nickname is "Teach".

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Technique: Halfway Is Not Good Enough

Let's see if you're learning anything useful... What's wrong with this photo?

If you answered, "there's too much HDSA and not enough LAB," you are 100% correct.  Women assume a bunch of guys in a circle talking and laughing are just a bunch of idiots telling dirty jokes, discussing sports, or doing something else they could care less about.  If that same group of guys were gathered around the shovelhead next to them, it might appear that they were having an intelligent, spirited conversation about motorcycles.  That could pique a woman's intellectual curiosity to see what all the fuss is about.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Technique: Kickstart Your Way To Being Noticed

Here is another example of an effective technique demonstrated at Full Tilt 4.  It combines HDSALAB and, as we have discussed, the most interesting motorcycle in the world, the Harley-Davidson Sportster.

Kicking your bike to life is rarely easy and almost always draws a crowd so women are very likely to stand up and notice.  As a crowd gathers to bask in the repeated failure before the ultimate glory, the simple act of getting your engine to fire becomes theater for the masses.  If that bike happens to be a Sportster, well, you have a recipe for pure magic.