Bikes

As you're standing around, looking at bikes, it's not only important to look great, but you need to know what you're looking at.  This way you can carry on meaningful conversations with other HDSALAB and answer questions any ladies might have if they are curious about motorcycles.  Remember that you need to nurture that curiosity in order to accomplish the mission.

Universal Truth #1
Before we cover anything else, you must learn this universal truth: The most interesting and beautiful motorcycle in the world is the Harley-Davidson Sportster.  If you don't have a Sportster, follow this handy Tech Tip to make your bike look like one.

Universal Truth #2
There is always someone (likely nearby) who know more about motorcycles than you.  Ignorance is nothing to be ashamed of.  Ask questions, listen, and you might actually learn something.  Remember, "Be Humble You Cool Fucker."

This Head vs. That Head
If you are inexperienced at SALAB, you need to know how to distinguish a Sportster from all other Harleys.  Keep in mind that, due to the nature of motorcycle customization, there are no universal truths (except those two noted above).  There will always be that some guy who re-engineers the transmission to put the chain on the opposite side of the bike or some other guy who puts fake knucklehead rocker boxes on his Big Twin.

Assuming you know whether you are looking at a Harley; if you are standing and facing the right side of the bike where the rear tire is on your left and front tire is on your right, you need to ask yourself this simple question, "Is the belt/chain running to the rear tire on this side of the bike?"  If the answer is yes, congratulations, you are probably looking at a Sportster.  If the belt/chain is on the opposite side, sorry, you are probably looking at some other Harley.

If you are lucky enough to be standing in front of a Sportster, there are two primary classifications, Ironheads, and Evos.

• Ironheads (1957-1985) are the older style of Sportster.  They will will have a chain drive to the rear wheel and often have a kickstart.  Each rocker box has two giant bolt heads on it.  If the bike is broken down on the side of the road and/or has a puddle of oil under it, it is probably an ironhead.  Ironheads are sometimes confused with shovelheads but remember to check which side the chain/belt is on and you won't make that rookie mistake.
• Evos (1986-Current) are newer and have smoother, more rectangular rocker boxes.  They will almost never have a kickstart (unless someone bolted it on) and often have belts to the rear wheel (however, chain conversions are popular mods).

More info coming soon!