Technique: Deep Thoughts

Subtlety is not always the best policy.  Sometimes a dramatic and obvious "thinking pose" is required to really call attention to yourself in a crowded room like the 2018 Progressive International Motorcycle Show.  Observe the effect on the woman to his left.  She is clearly entranced and, while her attention may start with him, she will soon follow his eyes to the panhead chopper in the foreground.  At that point he will think to himself, "mission accomplished".

Technique: Subtle Restraint

When you're in a small group standing around looking at bikes, consider doing what Dan's doing and stare mysteriously into the distance while everyone else is staring at the bike in front of you.  This shows restraint and adds interest and mystery to the scene.

Andy is also demonstrating "The Teacher" technique as he is staring at his own bike and is available for questions. Note how all of this works together as a package and draws Rachel in to participate in the admiration of Andy's Sportster. This is a classic example of teamwork my friends.  Well done.

The Legend of Willie G

The Mama Tried Show was this past weekend in Milwaukee, WI.  If you needed a place to show off your HDSALAB techniques, this was the place to be.  It certainly wasn't a place for HDSALAB amateurs.  Here you'll find the master himself, Willie G. Davidson, mid-swing as he's showcasing the art of gently tossing your leather jacket over your shoulder while intently staring at a bike.  As if he wasn't a legend already...

Technique: The Teacher

You never want to miss an opportunity to pique a woman's interest in motorcycles.  Should just any handsome dude stand next to your motorcycle?  Wouldn't it be helpful if you were there to answer questions?  This potentially educational & informative technique is called The Teacher, as demonstrated here by Kevin staring at his own Born Free 6 bike at the 2014 Bearded Lady Motorcycle Freakshow.  It's no surprise his nickname is "Teach".

Technique: Halfway Is Not Good Enough

Let's see if you're learning anything useful... What's wrong with this photo?

If you answered, "there's too much HDSA and not enough LAB," you are 100% correct.  Women assume a bunch of guys in a circle talking and laughing are just a bunch of idiots telling dirty jokes, discussing sports, or doing something else they could care less about.  If that same group of guys were gathered around the shovelhead next to them, it might appear that they were having an intelligent, spirited conversation about motorcycles.  That could pique a woman's intellectual curiosity to see what all the fuss is about.

Technique: Kickstart Your Way To Being Noticed

Here is another example of an effective technique demonstrated at Full Tilt 4.  It combines HDSALAB and, as we have discussed, the most interesting motorcycle in the world, the Harley-Davidson Sportster.

Kicking your bike to life is rarely easy and almost always draws a crowd so women are very likely to stand up and notice.  As a crowd gathers to bask in the repeated failure before the ultimate glory, the simple act of getting your engine to fire becomes theater for the masses.  If that bike happens to be a Sportster, well, you have a recipe for pure magic.

Technique: Be Legendary

If you're going to stand around and look at bikes, the best way to get noticed is to ensure a living legend is in your group and that you are looking at one of his bikes.  Here is Tom Fugle teaching a master class in HDSALAB next to his bike "Double Diamond" at Full Tilt 4 in St. Paul.

Technique: Standing In Pairs

Here you can see an excellent example of the "standing in pairs" technique at Scooter Trash 4.

Kevin is holding the requisite PBR tallboy and is clearly talking about his bike as Brett stands silently, intently examining the details Kevin is pointing out.

The incredible backlighting combined with multiple handsome dudes makes this scene something no woman can ignore.  While she may first be drawn to the handsome dudes standing around looking at a bike, her eyes will undoubtedly drift left towards the object of their conversation, and see how awesome Kevin's Sportster is.  She may be asking herself, "why does it lean so much?" and "why doesn't it fall over?"  Regardless, she is now one step closer to loving motorcycles.  Mission accomplished boys.

The Art Of The Stand

If you're going to stand around looking at bikes at a motorcycle show, you need to know how to stand in order to stand out.

There are 4 key ingredients to a handsome dude's perfect stand:

1. Bikes
2. Beer
3. Grooming
4. Gear

In the example above, Dan is doing absolutely everything right.

1. Bikes: This photo was taken at Scooter Trash 4.  There were awesome bikes to look at everywhere so the location was ideal.
2. Beer: Not only is Dan enjoying a classic PBR Tallboy, he is using a matching PBR Can Koozie with the blue ribbon logo clearly facing out.  This screams "classy gentleman" at any women in the vicinity.
3. Grooming: Dan's clean-shaven head demonstrates that he cares about his appearance and subtly reflects sunlight to attract attention.
4. Gear: Dan stands out in the crowd by not wearing the traditional black t-shirt and jeans, yet he is still dressed appropriately for riding.  The sunglasses add a touch of mystery as it is not clear which bike he is looking at.

I hope you're taking a few moments to reflect on what you've been doing wrong all these years.  Say it with me, "bikes, beer, grooming, and gear."  It's damned catchy isn't it?  Now go out there and stand properly.